The other day I took The Boy to our local Stocklands. The Norwegian was getting a massage, and I’d done the grocery shopping and had just let The Boy free from the child seat on the trolley. I had his sticker book and a supply of raspberries. I sat on the sofa chairs outside Mandarin Massage and thought, ‘Yeah this’ll work for a few minutes until it is MY TURN.’

The Boy had other ideas. As he had been unable to run or move for about 20 mins he had built up a huge store of kinetic energy that needed to be expanded. As soon as his feet hit the ground he was off. Grabbing my handbag I left the sticker book, raspberries and trolley full of shopping to the fates and dashed of after him.

He was like a toddler Forrest Gump. He ran and ran. And I ran after him.

We was like peas and carrots.

That is if ‘carrots’ run into The Village Grocer, up one isle, down the other, shouting ‘Apple, Apple’, squeal with delight on seeing a basket of walnuts, head straight towards said basket, pick up a handful of walnuts and proceed to kick them all over the place causing walnut-related trip hazards for all the other shoppers, while ‘peas’, run after ‘carrots’ saying,

‘Yes those are apples,

no those aren’t apples, they are avocados,

no not that,

put that down,

don’t kick those,

don’t….. ah sh*t.’

But what can you do?

Toddler is as toddler does.